


Knitting Needles Make Good Conversation Starters

by JustAndrea



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Splinter is a good dad, and the turtles are good brothers, dealing/coping with anger, lots of headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 14:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAndrea/pseuds/JustAndrea
Summary: How does the so-called 'angry one' of the family become not so angry? Simple. With a few good coping mechanisms, and a lot of help and support from his family.





	Knitting Needles Make Good Conversation Starters

**Author's Note:**

> So, quite a few people have pointed out that Raph isn't nearly as angry in RotTMNT as he is in 2012!TMNT. So, this is just my attempt to explain why that is - or at least part of it, I'm sure another big part of it is just him being the oldest and not being in Leo's shadow in this version - and how he's able to control his anger without just yelling or smacking his brothers around. ...yeah in case you can't tell I'm sorta salty towards 2012!TMNT - their Raph especially frustrates me. 2018!Raph however is my son and I love him ^v^
> 
> Also, can I just say that I love how so many people headcanon Raph being a knitter just because of that one scene from the Michael Bay TMNT movie? I almost hope that becomes canon in the show more than I hope the Lou Jitsu theory becomes canon (and I LOVE that theory!), it's just so cute and I just had to include it here! ^v^ Lol, alright, enjoy!

_“Chōsen o hajimeru tokidesu! Kare wa atarashī kuruma ni katsu koto ga dekimasu ka? Mitsukemashou! Sasori o hanashi nasai!”_

Splinter sighed. Not even the amusing sight of the newest Scorpion Treadmill contestant stepping up to the machine for what was sure to be a spectacular failure could bring a smile to his furry face. Television had proven to be a worthy distraction from the more difficult parts of his new life, but at the moment it couldn’t even do that, for there were heavier things weighing on the rat’s mind than simply remembering to gather food and wondering whether they would need to prepare for bad weather.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see his oldest sitting in the cramped corner that had been assigned to him. Raphael had brought his knees up to his chest, scowling as he hugged them, with his fists still covered in stray streaks of various colors. Just a few days ago, he had been sent to the corner for shoving Leonardo when he tried to get him to play tag with them. A day or so after that, he had been sentenced to the corner once more for stomping on one of Donatello’s gadgets - an act that still hadn’t been forgiven, since Donnie still refused to speak to him.

His latest misdeed was only half an hour ago, when Splinter had been dragged away from preparing lunch by a yelling pair of twins and a sobbing Michelangelo to the scene of the crime. In mere seconds, Raph had crushed all of Mikey’s chalk in his tiny yet strong hands, leaving them as nothing more than colorful crumbs on the stone floor.

Needless to say, something had to be done - and more time in the Naughty Corner just wasn’t going to cut it. Holding back another tired sigh, Splinter turned off the tv and walked over to his son. Raph’s scowl deepened, and he attempted to hide his face. Splinter raised a gentle hand and put it under Raph’s chin, lifting his face out of his knees.

“Why did you break Orange’s chalk?”

Raphael quickly gave his favorite answer. “I dunno.”

His father narrowed his eyes. “That is not an answer. Why did you break them?”

“I said I dunno!” the five year old snapped, baring his teeth. Splinter was VERY thankful his son hadn’t grown his adult snapper teeth yet, though his hand still retreated, just in case. But the rat wasn’t about to completely back down just yet.

“Why must we keep having these talks, Red Child?” Raph just growled, hiding his face once again. “If something is bothering you, you must tell me!” Splinter continued, scowling back at him, “You cannot keep acting like this. You cannot be a bully to your little brothers-!”

“I’m NOT a bully!” Raphael screamed back at his father’s face suddenly, “An’ I broke his chalk cause they were stupid, okay?!” With that, he turned the spikes on his shell towards Splinter and hid the rest of him against the wall.

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore his oncoming headache. He knew that choosing to raise children - mutant turtle children, especially - would present plenty of problems and difficulties, but his oldest’s ever increasing temper tantrums were something else entirely!

“You will stay here for another ten minutes, understand?” Having nothing else to say, Splinter returned to his chair, though kept the tv off as to not give his son a chance to escape under the noise of a live studio audience. As the seconds ticked by, the boy’s growls and angry mutters turned to sniffling and quiet sobs - and just like that, Splinter felt his frustrations melt into heartache.

He had to fix this… He had to help his son.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

Even while being only at the tender age of five, Raphael had done a ton of traveling in his life. Through abandoned alleyways and dark sewers, along train tracks and up and down piles of trash in dumps. Even after being lucky enough to finally find a home deep in New York’s sewer system, Raph still considered traveling to simply just be a part of his family’s life.

But that was the thing… His _family’s_ life. He always traveled with his father and his dumb younger brothers. But now, it was just his father while his brothers got to stay home and sleep in. Splinter didn’t explain why, just that this was a trip for just the two of them. Raph didn’t think they were abandoning his brothers… Maybe Splinter was getting ready to abandon him, finally having enough of him being mean and naughty. Well fine, he didn’t need a papa anyway! He would be just fine by himself!

...Besides, if this place would be his new home, it didn’t seem like it’d be too bad. It was missing the usual smells from the dumps and alleyways, and it was much brighter even with the sun only just poking over the horizon. Pink skies shone light down on darkened trees while wet grass tickled at his feet. He remembered one night a few months ago when Splinter had first brought all of them to a similar looking place, calling it a ‘park’. He and his brothers had played there practically all night, but Raph knew that there would be no playing this time.

After a few more minutes of walking, Splinter finally stopped. He sat down, and then gestured for his son to do the same. Raph did so, if only to get off his feet for a bit. He still didn’t like the wet grass too much, how it stuck to his legs and his shell. But the light skies and the cool morning winds that gently brushed past his face helped him feel less antsy about it.

“Do you like this place?” Splinter asked him suddenly. Raph hesitated a moment before nodding. “I do as well… It is very quiet, and very relaxing.” Raph nodded again, though still scowled slightly, not quite understanding the point of all this.

Lifting his strong tail, Splinter wrapped it around his son’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. “Raphael,” he began, his voice strong. Raph clenched his fists, knowing very well by now that his papa only seemed to use their full names when he was really angry with them. He knew this trip wasn’t going to be fun! He just brought him out here to yell at him some more! He just-!

“I am sorry for calling you a bully.”

The young snapper blinked. He looked up, and saw the guilt in the old rat-man’s eyes. “I was frustrated with your behavior, but that was still wrong of me, and I am sorry.”

“...Okay,” Raph said quietly, not really sure what else to say.

“Always remember this, Raphael,” Splinter told him, his tone serious once more, “That even when you do bad things or make mistakes, _you_ are not bad, and I will love you even when you do these things.”

Raph’s eyes widened a bit. “Really…? So, so you won’t ever get rid of me for bein’ bad?”

“Of course not!” His tail brought the boy in closer, and Raph didn’t hesitate to hold onto him, gripping the fabric of Splinter’s robe tightly. He was big enough for his head to fit in the crook of Splinter’s neck, but he still crouched down, wanting to feel small in his papa’s safe arms. “I did not get rid of you or your brothers when you were hatchlings, and I will not be doing so anytime soon! I love you, Big Red, no matter what you do.”

Raph sniffled at the pet name. “Okay, Papa… Okay…” He felt a soft hand pet his head a few times before hearing his father continue.

“However… While I will not abandon you for making mistakes or doing bad things, these things still must be dealt with. I brought you out here, Red, because I wanted you to feel relaxed enough to talk to me about the things that are making you angry, without worrying about your brothers hearing about it. So… Will you tell me? Will you tell Papa why you get so angry with your brothers and break their things?”

Raph didn’t answer right away, but Splinter had already figured that would be the case. Still, he didn’t push his son. He just continued to pet him and hold him close, until a small voice finally began to speak.

“I broke Mikey’s chalk cause they’re stupid,” Raph mumbled, repeating what he had said just a few hours before, “I try to draw with ‘em, and they always break… Everything they wanna play with breaks when I use ‘em, and then they get mad and then I get in trouble! Same goes with when I wanna play with them!” He started to growl, clenching his teeth. “I... I know I can’t be rough with Donnie ‘cause of his shell, but Leo and Mikey got regular shells and I still end up hurtin’ em whenever we play! An’ then I get mad, so I break more stuff an’ I don’t care about hurtin’ people, ‘cause it’s always gonna happen no matter what! I try not to, but it still happens!”

Splinter started to feel the front of his robe become damp, but he just held his son tighter, silently letting him know that it was okay. That _he_ was okay. “Why do I have to be the biggest, Papa?” Raph cried, “Why do I have to be big and spiky and everything else small and break-y? It’s not fair! _It’s not fair!_ ”

Splinter shushed Raph as he began to sob. “It will be alright, Red… I promise it will all work out.” Wanting to help calm him down, Splinter began to tell him stories of warriors as big and fierce as grizzly bears, and of samurai as tall and mighty as oak trees.  Stories of people as big and strong as Raphael, yet they didn’t break or smash or hurt. Instead, they _saved_.

By the time the sun had lifted itself above the green treetops, despite his cheeks still being damp and the occasional sniffle or two, Raph had started to think that maybe being big wasn’t so bad. “I wanna be like ‘em when I grow up,” he said quietly, still leaning on Splinter’s warm chest, “I wanna be like the warriors an’ the heroes… Be big enough to help.”

“You will be, Red Child,” Splinter told him, giving him another pat on the head, “And your brothers grow up too, become bigger and strong enough, and you’ll all have an easier time playing with each other.” Raph smiled a bit at the idea of that, being able to wrestling around with Leo and Mikey and being able to play with Donnie without worrying about hurting his soft shell. “But even then, you must remember that you are the oldest of your brothers. You still must protect them, just as they will protect you, and you definitely shouldn't use your strength against them in order to force them to do what you want. Family must always look after each other, and it is the oldest’s job to practice that, so that the younger members of his family can follow in example.”

The young snapper thought about this carefully before looking back up at his papa. “D’you think I could be a good big brother?”

“Absolutely,” Splinter answered with a warm smile. Raph grinned back at him, giving him another hug. Though, as they began walking back to the manhole they came up through, Raph’s smile faltered a bit.

“What if I still get mad, Pop?” he asked, “What if I get mad an’ I hurt my brothers or break their stuff, even though I don’t mean it?”

Splinter hummed, stroking his chin. “Perhaps… Perhaps, we can find a way for you to control your strength while we wait for your brothers to catch up…”

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Two days after their ‘Raph and Papa Only’ trip, as Raph had called it when his brothers had asked, Raph found himself being taken to his room rather than the Naughty Corner before he had a chance to crush the toy car that he had stepped on. There, he was presented with… With…

“Chopsticks?” Raph raised an eyebrow. “But Pop, I already ate, an’ I hate using those things anyway! Hands are wayyyy better to eat with!”

Splinter gave a small smirk as he shook his head. “No, Red, these are not chopsticks, please do not eat with them. ...Or eat them.” His oldest definitely had a habit of sticking things in his mouth, just to have something to munch on. “These are knitting needles. People use them to create clothes such as scarves, hats, sweaters, and even blankets.”

“Really?” Raph eyed the needles. How could two little sticks create all those things?! It was impossible!

“Yes, really. And that is what you are going to do.” Hidden within the sleeves of his robe, Splinter produced a package of red yarn (Raph smiled at the fact that they were using his favorite color, even if he was still confused) and a worn book titled “Knitting for Beginners”.

“But why do I gotta knit?” Raph asked, picking up the needles and clenching them together tightly. The needles began to crack slightly in his strong grip, causing Raph to scowl. He couldn’t make anything with dumb knitting needles, they were just another thing for him to break…

Splinter however was far from discouraged. “These will help you control your strength, as well as your temper. Knitting takes patience and time, and if you can master it, then you will be on your way to becoming a master of those things as well, my son.”

“A master…” Raph furrowed his brow, setting the needles down. “But what if I can’t do it? What if I’m bad at knitting and ruin all the yarn?”

“Then we will find something else to help you,” Splinter replied confidently, “But let us try to knit before we look for something else, alright?” “Fiiiine…”

For the next several weeks, Splinter would spend around two hours a day with Raphael, pouring over the details and tips from the knitting handbook while his son tried his hardest to knit. For the most part, Raph actually wasn’t too bad at it, being able to concentrate and not get too caught up on the occasional dropped stitch.

Unfortunately, this didn’t stop him from breaking at least one needle each session, but rather than scolding him for it, Splinter simply taped the tool up or replaced it within a few days if the damage was severe enough. Even while still feeling a bit guilty about it, the lack of pressure did allow Raph to relax a bit more, which led to fewer broken needles. Despite their occasional destructiveness, he found that he liked working with his hands, finding new ways to position them as he used them to create rather than just smash or hit.

After two months, Raph had completed a pair of red, three-fingered gloves. They weren’t as perfect as the pictures in the book, but they were still wearable. They were still his, and that was enough.

“Whoaaaa!” Leo said in awe, spotting them on his big brother’s hands as soon as he walked into the tv room, “Where’d you find those?”

“I didn’t, I made ‘em,” Raph answered proudly, “All by myself!” “Wowwwww!”

“Yes. Very nice, Red,” Splinter added, looking away from the screen and giving the gloves an approving nod, making his son beam.

“Yeah! But why’d you wanna make gloves?” Leo asked, “Seems like kind’a a weird thing to make.”

“‘Cause I was mad about steppin’ on your car,” Raph replied, shrugging, “but I made these instead of breaking the car.”

“Oh, whoops...” Leo winced slightly, remembering the short scolding he had gotten that day about leaving his toys out. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine, I’m not mad about it anymore.”

“Good, and thanks for not breakin’ it.” After admiring the gloves a bit more, Leo smiled. “You wanna go play now?”

Raph gave a toothy grin. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

The boys quickly scurried off, leaving their content - and very proud - father alone in his chair. Naturally, he still kept an ear out for crying or yelling, but it wasn’t until it was time to gather his sons up for supper did he have to get out of his chair. Not a toy was broken that night.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Most would be worried about leaving a four year old to their own devices, but Splinter was not one of those parents. Not because he didn’t care about the safety of his youngest, certainly not, but because he knew just how attached Michelangelo was to his older brothers, who would be sure to keep him out of trouble just as long as they stayed out of trouble themselves. And, if something was truly wrong, Splinter would _definitely_ know about it, no matter how far away his orange son was.

Hence the loud wail that had Splinter out of his chair within seconds. Sometimes Splinter wondered if Mikey knew just how loud he could be. Frankly, it would not surprise him if people on the streets above and on the other side of the city could hear him…

But while a loud cry had made him move, a single phrase made him stop, just before reaching the playroom:

_“I’m sorry!”_

When only silence followed this, Splinter peeked inside, getting a full view of the situation while still using his ninja skills to stay out of sight. He could see Raph looking down at a broken toy train, but all Raph could see, even as he kept his eyes glued to the floor, was the expressions on his brothers’ faces. Mikey’s tear filled eyes, and Leo and Donnie’s frowns - with the latter looking more angry than hurt, which made sense considering that he had found the toy.

“I, I was just tryin’ to play with it,” Raph explained, “But I played too rough, an’ one of the wheels just popped off.” He clenched his fists a bit, though his expression stayed calm. “I didn’t mean to break it, an’ I tried to put it back on, but it wouldn’t go back on! So I threw it… and I threw it too hard.” Looking his brothers right in the eyes now, Raph let his guilt be known. “I was mad… But I still shouldn’t have thrown it. And the rest I didn’t mean to do. But I’m still really sorry. So… yeah.”

The twins exchanged a look, their own expressions softening just a little. But before either of them could say anything, Mikey rushed forward. Even being nearly half the size of Raph, Mikey still managed to wrap his arms halfway around him in a tight hug. “‘S’okay, Raphie,” he said, “I know you sorry, an’ s’okay. Don’t be sad, okay?”

“We know you didn’t mean it,” Leo added, giving Raph a small smile, “We’ll just fine stronger toys for all of us to play with, ones that never ever break!”

“And... I guess I could teach you how to fix the toys that do break,” Donnie offered, “If you wanna help.”

“...” Despite the unshed tears in his eyes, Raph smiled and nodded at them both. “Yeah… That sounds good.”

“You guys hug too!” Mikey demanded, and the twins both chuckled, happily obliging while Raph’s smile grew. Once the impromptu group hug ended, Donnie ran to the toy box to grab the small tools he had stashed away for situations such as these while Leo told a silly train joke he had heard on some cartoon show, easily making his red and orange brothers laugh.

And as he watched his oldest carefully take the tools, using the skills he had gotten from months of knitting to keep his hands steady and his grip not too firm while his other children gathered around their brother to give help and support, Splinter quickly decided that neither he nor Raphael had anything to worry about.

As time went on and all the things that his father had promised began coming true, Raph had decided this as well. Knitting became another one of the constants in his life, even as he himself grew bigger and stronger. Each new garment turned out better than the last, and by his tenth birthday, knitting wasn’t just an exercise in controlling his anger and strength, but a well-loved hobby!

His brothers grew up as well, all of them growing closer as they played and learned together. Once all of them began learning martial arts thanks to the discovery of Lou Jitsu movies and months of begging their father to teach them, they also all became great sparring partners. Sure, Raph still had to pull a few of his punches, not wanting to accidentally send any of his siblings through a wall, but no longer did he have to worry about making any of them cry just by shoving them, and together they were all able to begin the journey of becoming awesome ninjas.

Soon enough, strength truly became a symbol of, well, strength! Of being able to fight off bad guys, of being able to protect the ones he cared about the most. Once Splinter finally allowed them to go off into the city without his supervision, Raphael wore the title of protector and leader with pride. ‘Look out, NYC,’ he remembered thinking as he guided them all out of the sewers, ‘Big Brother Warrior Raph is comin’ for ya!’

Of course, even with all this positive change, Raph still occasionally felt his anger just below his surface. When he still accidentally broke something, as if he was still an accident prone five year old, or when his brothers annoyed him to the point where he actually _did_ want to shove them through a wall.  When he frustrated with being a mutant in a human world, or when something went wrong despite his best efforts to make them go right, or when he was just feeling angry in general and didn’t really know why.

Thankfully, just like how his father knew just what to do all those years ago, the rest of his family seemed to know how to help.

Donnie kept a collection of cracked beakers and gadgets damaged beyond repair in his lab, and when the time called for it, he and Raph would take them all and just smash them against the wall. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but smashing stuff was still a pretty good release. Thankfully, Donnie never judged him for it - ‘Who knows, maybe he gets somethin’ out of it too,’ Raph would sometimes think - and the two of them would still end up talking things out as they swept up the mess.

Exercise was another way to get that release, though sometimes lifting weights or striking a punching bag just wasn’t enough. Leon, being the fastest of them, naturally would challenge Raph to a race through the sewers or a dozen spars in the dojo when his older brother was feeling particularly angry. He was more than happy to help tire Raph out as he worked through his emotions, just as he was happy to provide refreshing drinks and a shoulder to lean on afterwards.

Mikey’s solution was similar to Leo’s. Buried deep under the rest of his art and crafting supplies were several Jupiter Jim coloring books, each of them partially filled with plenty of pages left to go. He’d always bring these out, along with several plates of homemade snacks, whenever Raph needed a stress coloring session. As childish as it might have seemed, it was almost comforting in a way, just lying on the floor and coloring for as long as he needed to while his youngest brother talked about whatever. The fact that Mikey never even scowled at him when he accidentally snapped off the tip of a pencil or a crayon also helped.

Even Splinter, even after doing so much for him already, still offered to help when Raph’s anger nearly reached his limits. They’d have one-on-one wrestling matches, with Raph finding comfort in how impossible it seemed to knock his father down no matter how many attacks he threw at him. A pillar of true strength, as far as Raph was concerned. And, when it wasn’t a fight he needed in order to work things out, then Splinter would instead provide him with listening ears, honest words, and a warm cup of black tea.

It really was just as Splinter had promised that morning. Things really did work out in the end. His family loved him, no matter what he did or what emotions he had, and they were always willing to help. Even if his feelings were his own, Raph would never be alone, and he would be forever grateful for that.

...But even so, sometimes old habits were the best ones.

Still scowling, he dug through his basket of yarn. His hand touched a ball of pink yarn, and he quickly threw it against the wall of his bedroom. He definitely didn’t need anything pink tonight… Instead, he grabbed the green yarn and began knitting away. He growled slightly when he dropped two threads in a row, but kept his hands steady, resisting the urge to form them into fists. Instead, he took a deep breath and kept on it, listening to the click of his needles and letting his mind wander away from the fight he and his brothers had gotten into just a couple hours ago.

He was about halfway through his impromptu scarf when he heard a gentle knock at the door. “Hey, big guy,” April greeted, giving him a gentle smile.

Despite it all, Raph smiled back at his sister. “Hey… What are you doin’ here?”

“Well I was gonna hang, but the guys said you could maybe use some company? ...Said that you had kind of a rough night tonight?”

Raph scowled, though not at April. ‘Rough’ was certainly one way to describe it… Meatsweats had gotten his hands on a couple of strength-increasing mutants, which was giving him a huge advantage in his so called 'hunts'. Raph had been the one to accidentally lead them into such a one-sided fight, which in turn lead to all of them getting beaten up pretty badly.

But while they were able to free the rest of Meatsweats’ captured prey, making that part of Raph’s plan a success at least, the bad guy had still managed to get away even with their best efforts. Naturally, his brothers were just as frustrated with this, complaining about the mostly-failed mission most of the way home. So, not wanting to start a fight or bother them as they patched themselves up, Raph ended up isolating himself the moment they got home, lest he end up getting into a screaming match with one of them. Though, he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be alone for much longer.

“You wanna talk about it?” April asked, and watched her friend think about it before shaking his head. Tonight was just a bad night, and he wanted to forget about it as soon as possible, at least for right now. “Okay. Can I still chill here for a while?” That time, Raph nodded, not taking nearly as much time to answer. So, April took a seat next to him on his bed. She gently rubbed his shell as he worked, expertly avoiding the spikes and helping him fall back into a relaxed mindset - one that didn’t involve mutant pig-chefs or nearly suffocating thoughts of self doubt.

It took another hour before he finished the scarf, releasing a long sigh once he finally did. “It looks good,” April told him. He smiled warmly at the compliment and handed the scarf to her. She ran her fingers over the soft yarn as she wrapped it around her neck. She’d already gotten several scarfs from the snapper over the years, along with a couple sweaters and some fingerless gloves, but as far as she concerned, there was no limit on the amount of comfy homemade knitted-wear a person could have. “Thanks… So, you feelin’ better?”

“Yeah,” Raph admitted, though his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes, “I’m relaxed at least. Still kinda pissed though… I know I’ll get a rematch with him eventually but, it’s hard just waitin’ around, you know? Waitin’ to make up for a bad fight, or a bad plan…”

April patted him on the shoulder. “...Central Park seemed pretty deserted when I rode past it, and I doubt anyone’s out there at-” she checked her phone. “2:37 AM. You wanna go take a walk? Maybe grab some convenience store pizza afterwards?”

Raph’s smile grew a bit. Closing his eyes for just a moment, he could already feel the cool grass under his feet and the light wind in the air. “Yeah, that sounds nice… Thanks, April.”

“No problem, Raph,” she smiled back, squeezing his hand, “Anytime.”

Even before they reached the surface, Raph could feel the last of his anger and frustration fading away, allowing his heavy steps to feel light without anything weighing them down. Of course, these feelings would come back soon enough, and as annoying as that would be, Raph wasn’t afraid of them. He’d face them head on, just as he did with any other obstacle in his way. Things would work out in the end. Things would be alright.

As long as he had his family, their encouraging and supportive words, and a couple of spare knitting needles and some yarn at the ready, he knew he really would be just fine, anger issues and all.

**THE END**


End file.
